I’m 35. There are only two instances that truly make me feel “old.”
1) Someone famous from my childhood dies.
or
2) Listening to the radio.
When I say listening to the radio I am referring to those random moments where the music on my phone is just getting boring, or I am out of podcasts to listen to. This usually results in me turning on what today is considered the “oldie” channel. It is basically a list of hits that could’ve been played at a prom during any of my four years of high school. This is right around when those grey hairs on my head start making more sense. My penchant for remembering a bunch of things that are not useful usually shine in these moments. Random old singing group names fly out of my mouth with no knowledge of where they came from: Mokenstef, Changing Faces, Subway. YES, THAT IS RIGHT! THERE IS A GROUP LITERALLY CALLED SUBWAY AND THEY WENT GOLD IN THE EARLY 90’s!!!!!!!! There are recording artists that would stab their next of kin in the neck to sell 500,000 copies of anything today and this random group with an even more random name had a gold single featuring another group called 702..... A FREAKING AREA CODE!?!?!? WHO WAS IN CHARGE OF GROUP NAMES IN THE EARLY 90’S?!?!?!?!?!
This made me think of some very specific songs, artists and definitely their videos. I realized that the Oldies radio channel was not doing the 90’s justice. I mean you can randomly hear an old Jay-Z single, but he’s still famous today. You can hear “Whoop There It Is” but that was literally one of the most popular rap songs of all-time no matter how obscure that group may have become. RIP Tag Team which featured two of the worst rap names I have ever heard: DC The Brain Supreme & (My Man) Steve Roll’n. My point is it is easy to look back on the big pieces of Hip-Hop/R&B that defined our youths, but what about the glue that held all of those pieces together? What about those random songs that were actually considered hits by well enough known artists that didn’t necessarily stand the test of time? What about the garbage that we still vibed to for that one semester? What about that video that came on every hour until we broke down and accepted the song for what it was because it was easier to nod our heads than to say we hated it 24 times a day?
I mention the accompanying video because for a long run that was a very essential part the campaign of a single’s release. In 2018 a video is either 6 seconds long on a loop, 2 minutes long showing a recipe for something you didn’t even know you wanted to eat, or 10 minutes long explaining something about a show or movie that you’re too embarrassed to admit you don’t understand. Videos for songs used to be super important. Some songs only became hits because of their videos. Some songs people didn’t realize were going to be hits so they had to make the perfect video to meet the expectations. Some videos were just forgettable. Well, I didn’t forget them, and I promise you at one point in time, they were a thing.
Mya feat. Silkk The Shocker “Moving On”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRN6vgjqcgU
In August of 1998 we were all made better as people by the arrival of a song by Mya featuring Master P’s little brother AKA the star of Hot Boys (the most struggle ridden straight to VHS rap movie of all-time). As a follow up to being featured on the crossover hit “Ghetto Superstar” it was time for Mya to go for an all out hit of her own. Who else could she enlist for this task but the 7th best artist on the No Limit roster? Forget the song. Aside from one or two lines, the hook and a verse by the one and only Silkk with two K’s there is nothing of note here. So how was this a thing? I still don’t know! I started to think it was the video, but then I went back and watched to refresh my memory.
The story of romantic deception and betrayal is set at the fictional University High... Couldn’t even call it “University High School” for the sake of fucks given? An official school sign using the slang for high school? This place must be cool as hell, and feature at least one famous R&B singer and one “rapper.”
I’d be willing to bet their motto is “All of the classes of a university with all of the pettiness of a high school”
If you didn’t know, that is the back of Silkk featured in the video as evidenced by the No Limit Record label logo on the back of denim jean outfit and his spot on use of 90’s t-shirt-too-long-compared-to-my-jacket phase of fashion.
10 seconds in and we already know who the villain of the video is. No female casted in a video of the 90’s with this hair style is a good person. Black, Blonde and Frizzy = Crazy, Vindictive and Evil in the 1998 music video world. I’m not saying that I know whatever bad happens is going to be her fault, but analytics don’t lie.
The usual high school shenanigans are taking place (that we never actually see in a real high school). Paper airplanes are taking flight, a total disregard for the teacher with full volume conversations among groups of students and the more realistic of them all, note passing.
Mya just got a note from Blonde Frizzy, and judging by her face I’m guessing it has nothing to do with being friends forever. Also, if you notice in the background Blonde Frizzy’s director’s notes probably read something like “we need you to sell you inner evil even when the camera isn’t focused on you.”
Called It! The song hasn’t even started yet and you’ve got some investigating to do. Never a dull moment at University High!
So many questions:
Where was Malik last night?
Was underlining “wasn’t” twice along with two exclamation marks the best choice?
Why does this paper seem so worn out despite only being folded twice?
IS THE PAPER INVOLVED?
WAS THIS WRITTEN LAST NIGHT AND SAVED FOR THE MORNING?
IS THIS A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
DOES A UNIVERSITY/HIGH SCHOOL HAVE CAMPUS SECURITY THAT I CAN ASK ABOUT THIS?
And now the song starts with a prologue by Silkk himself putting his heart on the line proclaiming that “If he ain’t treating you right?... It’s bout time you move on.” Lip synching this is key to reaching the absurd amount of corniness we had come to expect from our 90’s music videos. The pure gumption levels it took for him to not only say this in the intro of a song, but to also submit what I would categorize as a rap-turd set to music at the end of this song are mind boggling. Silkk at the beginning and the end of your hit. This thing is literally a shit sandwich.... That we vibed to my sophomore year in high school. Upon further refreshing of memories this song is pretty awesome.
In the first verse we have everything from Mya proclaiming that she has to “be a woman” in a high school gym locker room, a prominent feature of Sketcher sneakers, a locker with a pair of striped panties hanging out of it, a baby’s mother showing up in front of school and being described as “creepin’” and what assume to be an impromptu dance circle in either an auditorium or a lunch room with all of the tables moved to the side. This is incredible in a way that only exists pre-2000.
This reminds me that Mya was actually a pretty solid dancer. It’s almost a shame she didn’t have a bit of a longer run. She was one of the Lady Marmalade girls. She deserved a longer run... Now that I think about it, Mya was basically Ciara eight years prior. In a lot of ways they are identical. People usually credit Aaliyah as being the ultimate Black Female 90’s R&B singer/dancer influence on all similar artists after. I’m not saying it’s not true. I’m just saying Mya and Ciara have more in common than any one of them have in common with Aaliyah. Both danced well in a lot of their videos
Both of their dancing was better than their singing
Both of them went more sexual on their 3rd albums
Both of them were linked romantically with 50 Cent
Both of them are now not even talked about when it comes to music or dancing?
Ciara is more known for baby mama drama with Future and pretending to be a saved for Russell Wilson than any one of her hits, and the last time the public acknowledged Mya she was runner up on Dancing With The Stars 11 years ago...
ARE MYA AND CIARA THE SAME PERSON!?!?
Back to the video:
Here comes the line that every girl that I knew would sing louder than anything else in this song. It is accompanied by Mya and one of her default gang of friends performing a makeshift CSI investigation in the bleachers about the owner of what she describes as “draws”. This is obviously slang for underwear, but it should be noted that this word does not belong in ANY respectable R&B song. The madness needs to stop here.
“Whose draws are these?..... you know I wear a size fo-ur.”
Well, it looks like Mya is fed up with her boyfriends bs. It’s time for her to assert her independence through a poorly choreographed cheerleading routine -----
-----and instantly “moving on” to the next man that raps to her for validation.
Enter Silkk The Shocker in full No Limit Soldier garb and a mouth full of struggle bars to save the day.
I don’t mean to confuse things but this is actually his rapping outfit. When his verse starts this is what he magically appears in. This is not what he shows up to the game wearing. This is just what happens when a verse as fantastic as his is spit by a mere mortal. You are inexplicably transformed into rapper armed with a knit cap, shades, XXXXL black and white Army fatigues and an G status. Maybe this is meant to be Silkk and the guy he has been playing the whole video is a different person, but that doesn’t really add up since Mya has been singing in character for the entire video. This is what he was before the verse started.
This fun loving high school kid was completely transformed to a University No Limit Thug through the magic of a Silkk The Shocker verse the likes of which you could only dream of creating. Shout out to P. Miller clothing line, making random people that you see at the mall look like shit circa ‘98-’02. You never knew anyone that wore P.Miller but they existed and they were out there living their lives.
Now soak up this knowledge:
“One to the two, two to the three/ I ain’t sayin’ leave him, but you need to like... roll with me.”
BASK IN THE GLORY!!!!!!
“You ain’t never got to trip or remind me/ I’m tryin to live ghetto fab while taking baths in bottles of Dom P.”
ETHER!!!!!!!
“But I ain't perfect, Cause imagine me with no flaws/ Like a parking lot with no cars, Cell block with no bars/ World with no wars, L.A. with no stars/ Check this out: I can heal your broken heart/”
I could argue that only one of those ideas even slightly fits the description of “with no flaws” but I’m too busy respecting greatness.
“Now you know I get paid for bustin' all kinds of tight verses/ See I need a girl that I can see on top, like Silkk and Mya or vice versa.”
IF HE DOESN’T GET MYA AFTER THAT THEN SHE’S NOT OBTAINABLE.
I’m shocked (pun intended) that they aren’t married in real life after that shit. After all kinds of tight verses he deserve no less than her to bear his seed.
Well her horrible boyfriend still makes the winning shot in the big game because ball is life.
He might’ve won the game but he didn’t win Mya’s heart. Even Blonde Frizzy has moved on to a different player after the final shot. And guess what Mya has moved on too...
You guessed it. Passenger seat of a Lamborghini with Silkk The Shocker in what I can only describe as an alternate hangar area of the away teams gym facilities. If you’re not sure what’s happening, that is Mya throwing the “draws” in question in the face of her cheating boyfriend in sync with a music cue as her and her newly acquired No Limit Soldier ride off into what I presume is the sunset.
You’re welcome 90’s.
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